It’s that time of year again. No, not Christmas. It’s cuffing season. Cuffing season is the six-month period from October to March and, as the calendar hits December, things get into full swing.
However, I don’t particularly care for this time. Young adults seem to latch onto one another just to keep each other warm and take unbearably annoying holiday pictures. Well, I say it’s time to stop clinging to someone you’re just going to drop as soon as the weather hits 60 degrees.
If you happen to fall in love with someone during this time span, that’s dope. But don’t pick a warm body to stream Netflix with. There are a few reasons why I think the entire concept is a bad idea.
First, you’re not really dating this person for any purpose. It’s either the cold weather manipulating you into spending the winter cuddled up to someone or the holidays manipulating you into bringing some poor sap home to your family.
I mean, really, why bring home some innocent soul to withstand your grandmother asking when the wedding is or your mother asking when you’re finally going to give her some grandchildren? Why put someone through that kind of torture who shouldn’t have to go through it?
Second, you could miss out on someone special if you’re wasting time with a rental. Someone might be flirting with you big time but you blow them off because you are “promised” to the person that you both know you’re going to drop when you break out the short shorts.
Third, why result to cuffing season when you can do these things by yourself? Arguing over whether to binge “Stranger Things” or “The Ranch”? Not anymore. If you don’t fall victim to cuffing season, you can watch whatever you want! Without cuffing season, you can take hilariously awkward holiday photos by yourself.
Also, instead of making someone else endure your family during the holidays, you can hit the egg nog and have yourself a good time by ignoring the constant questions about your love life.
Anyway – hopefully – you understand that this article is kind of just a joke. But let’s look at the big picture here. There is an actual problem with dating in our society today. Much of the problem can be attributed to technology and the way we “talk” today.
Yeah, our generation goes on dates but not after we already have preconceived notions about someone from texting them for three weeks prior. I wish we had the opportunity to put away the texting, call someone you like, ask them on a date and go have a good time. I believe the relationship success rate would skyrocket.
But this is getting a little too serious for my taste so just stop participating in cuffing season. You and I both know there is no point. Sam Hunt says he’s “Single for the Summer” – he might as well stay single for the winter too.
*Editor’s Note: ignore this if you have a significant other for purposes other than cuffing season.